10 Self Defense Tips

Tomorrow morning I will be heading off to Sacramento for the Homeschool Association of California annual Adventures in Homeschooling conference. I've been attending this conference for almost two decades -- since I was a little, little kid. I've never missed a conference since we started going. 

Most years I put on some kind of workshop -- either martial arts, or sign language, usually. This year I'm only doing one workshop, but it's something a little new for me. I'll be doing a self defense workshop for teen girls

I've been thinking about and planning this workshop for a while. We'll be doing a combination of physical self defense, practical tips, and how to keep yourself out of danger. Plus some discussion of mental defense and rape culture.

I'm not completely done planning, but I thought I would share a few of the tips I was planning on talking about. 

1. Trust your instincts.

Cliché yes, but for good reason. All too often, after a woman has been attacked, she will say that she felt like something wasn't right, but she thought she was being paranoid. While you don't want to live our life in fear, another cliché applies here: better safe than sorry. If something feels wrong, chances are it is. 

2. Don't look like a victim.

Stand up straight, walk quickly but not at a run, and keep your gaze level. Stick your chest out and look confident, even if you really feel terrified -- people are much less likely to attack or harass you if you look strong and sure of yourself.

3. Keep your keys in your hand. 

If you're walking in an area that makes you a little uneasy, especially alone or at night, keep a hold of your keys. This makes it easier to get into your car quickly without having to dig around in you bag. Plus, if you make a fist with your key sticking through your fingers, you have a good weapon to use against someone's eyes or throat. 

4. Yell.

If someone does attack you, fight back as loudly as you can. Not only does yelling give you more power, but it scares your attacker and alerts other people to the situation, who will hopefully come to your aid.

5. Hit vulnerable targets. 

If you have to defend yourself, use simple techniques such as knees and palms, and hit vulnerable targets, like the eyes, throat, and groin. 

6. Use your surroundings. 

Throw sand in your attacker's face. Hit them with your backpack. Brace yourself against your car while you kick them. Anything to give yourself an advantage. There is no such thing as fighting dirty when it comes to defending yourself. 

7. If you get pinned, keep moving. 

The worst thing you can do in the event that you get pinned down is stop fighting. Whatever you do, just keep moving, especially your hips. If you can, use our knees and feet to spread open their legs while you worm your way out. Get on your feet ASAP. 

8. Never get into a car under duress. 

If someone asks for your wallet, give it them. They want your necklace? Hand it over. Those aren't worth getting hurt. But if someone tries to get you into their car, or trunk, fight back hard. Your chances of remaining alive and well if you get into a car plummet significantly, so use surprise to your advantage, hit them hard, and run. 

9. If someone harasses you, tell someone.

Tell everyone. And don't stop telling people until something has been done. This applies for everyone, no matter what age you are. Tell your parents, tell HR, tell the police. Remember that nothing you did cause this behavior -- you didn't "ask for it" via your clothing, or behavior. If you do nothing, even if the harassment on you stops, there is nothing to say that another person might suffer at the hands of the same aggressor. Make sure that people know what that person is capable  of. 

10. Other people cannot earn sex/love by being nice to you/doing you favors.

It doesn't matter if they walked your dog. It doesn't matter if they helped you through a bad breakup. It doesn't matter if they bought you dinner. You do not owe them sex, or love, or a relationship. You still retain the right to say no. Anyone who tries to demand anything from you and uses the argument that you owe them because of x, y, and z is being emotionally abusive -- and that's not the kind of person you want in your life. 

This is just a small sampling of tips for staying safe. What other tips do you try to follow? Share in the comments!

The Game of Game of Thrones

Last night I played board games until three in the morning. Today I spent seven hours playing one board game.

It was the Game of Thrones board game -- not the two player card game, but the massive six player strategy game. Roxana and I went to John and Garrett's house (John being the friend who recently got married) and played with the two of them, one of John's groomsmen, Josh AKA Draper, and John's new wife Cayla.

It was absolutely wonderful. The game was interesting and engaging, keeping all of our attention for seven straight hours (well, we did have one ten minute cake break). It really came down to the wire -- on the last turn, four of the six of us could easily have won it all. In the end, House Lannister, who I was playing, managed to seize control of Westeros, though House Baratheon controlled the Iron Throne, thereby setting us up pretty much how the series itself actually begins.

It is rare to find a game with no random elements. This one technically had one (three cards get flipped at the beginning of each round that have a somewhat significant effect on the rest of the turn), but it was minor compared to the overall game. In spite of this game being essentially a new kind of Risk or Axis and Allies, it had absolutely no die rolling of any kind. Plus, no card drawing -- all of your cards are in your hand at all times, unless you've chosen to play them. In addition to all that, everyone can see your cards and your influence tokens (basically money, although used for other things as well) at all times.

It really is a strategy game in the truest sense of the word. You have essentially all the information at all times -- all you have to do is plan your tactics and try to figure out what the other houses are going to do. It's a game I walked away from mentally exhausted -- always a good sign in my book.

The six houses you can play as are Lannister, Baratheon, Stark, Greyjoy, Tyrell, and Martell. The game worked thematically very well. It really felt like you were in the Song of Ice and Fire universe. All of the elements of the game added up to a very Westeros feeling match.

Seven hours for one game is a long time. However, it moves quickly and since everyone is taking turns almost simultaneously, there are never long periods of sitting around doing nothing. It is also a good game for non-readers -- though there is some text, all of it can be read for you by other players.

Overall, I loved it. So much that as soon as this blog post is up, I will be googling it to see how much it costs to buy. Thank you to John, Cayla, and Garrett for inviting us over to play. I can't wait to play again, so I can try out one of the other houses. If you are a fan of Game of Thrones (either the books, the TV show, or both) and love strategy game, then hurry up and learn how to play (which you can do by watching the twenty two minute instructional video provided by the game makers -- it seems excessive, but it's extremely helpful).

Plus, it's a great excuse to sit around all day trash talking each other with Game of Thrones quotes -- what's better than that?

The Wedding of Cayla and John

Today I attended the wedding of an old friend, John. Him and his now wife are moving to the easy coast (where she is from originally, and where they met), so this was their west coast wedding. In a few years, after she graduates, they'll be having their full blown, legit wedding on the east coast, with all of her friends and family included. 

This felt like a pretty legit wedding though, I must say. There was a lovely white dress, vows, dancing. It was at a gorgeous mansion I wish I had taken a few pictures of, in Yorba Linda.

Roxana and I went together, thankfully, since we didn't know another person there, aside from the groom and his best man (and the bride, barely).

There ceremony was interestingly military, complete with dress uniforms and sabers. But it was also very casual and brief and sweet.

I was honored to have been invited, as it was a rather intimate gathering, and so glad we were both able to go, since we both are moving soon (me back to the valley on the 16th, while Roxana will be going straight from the Sacramento conference to San Fran).

The best part of the wedding? The look of complete adoration that crossed over the faces of both bride and groom every time they looked at each other. In the words of the best man, "When you know, you know. And I'm glad they knew."

Happy Birthday Kris

Today is the birthday of this guy I used to know. We went to Cypress College together -- his whole family was involved in theater there. Roxana did a lot of shows with his mom and sister, with him working on the technical side of things.

He lost the battle to cancer back in January. He had been sick for a while, but the last time I had seen him in person was at Barnes and Noble, before he got sick. He was looking for a book on guns -- I think I was looking for anything on feminism. We ran into each other and kept the store from closing while we (and my mom and Roxana) caught up on each others lives.

He was engaged, and Facebook still lists that as his relationship status, which never fails to break my heart. Kris was a geek in the true sense of the word -- passionate about everything he was interested in. He was full of life, and joy, and energy.

Every time I run, and CharityMiles asks me what cause I want to run for, there is no question in my mind. I always think of Kris while I run my few miles to help cure cancer.

The Facebook page of someone who has died is an odd thing. It's wonderful, because it fills up with wonderful words about the person, not just in the days following their death, but continuously, and on days like today, Kris's birthday. Plus, if you go back far enough, you can see posts from the person who passed away, and you get to pretend for a moment that they're still around.

But it's hard too. Like when I'm throwing an event, and Facebook suggests that I invite Kris. It's always a shocking moment of reality.

Missing you today Kris. I wish I had hung out with you more, gotten to know you better. I'll regret that forever. But I'm glad I knew you at all -- you have made the world a better place to live in.

Hope you're having a rocking birthday.

Love and Movies

After seeing one to many movies that had their few female characters almost exclusively focused on romance (and only heterosexual romance), I posed a question to my Facebook friends this morning:

All I want out of life right now is a movie that includes female characters that has nothing to do with romance or love. So lay it on me Facebook people -- I need some suggestions.

So far there are 96 comments, and the conversation has continued for over three hours solid.

Not many of the suggestions follow my guidelines (which were amended, a few comments in: Well, I guess I should be more specific: I want the female characters to matter/be primary.)

Here's the list that seem to apply, based on my criteria, so far:

Alien
Haywire*
The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe (I can't remember the newer one, but I think it works)
Wizard of Oz
Terminator 2*
Phantom Menace (although it's awkward, since you know two of the characters will end up together in the future...)
Whale Rider* (child, not adult, female character)
Little Miss Sunshine (main female character is a child, but there is the adult mother as well)
Whatever Happened to Baby Jane?*
Winter's Bone*
True Grit*

We also had Coraline and Spirited Away, but I think animated films might need a separate list.

(Any movie marked with a * means I haven't seen it myself, but am relying on other peoples' suggestions and my Wikipedia search skills).

Pan's Labyrinth may apply, but I feel like I want to watch it myself before making the distinction.

So now I'm asking you -- what movies can you think of that have important/main/primary female characters that do not include romance or love? For that matter, what movies can you think of with no romance or love period (even those that don't include women)? Share in the comments!

More Exciting Life

This post was written longhand -- I was not at camp, but my computer hadn't been turned on since camp, so I'm typing it up now. It's from July 22nd.

Some days are calm and quiet and nice, and nothing of much consequence happens.

Today was not such a day. Today I signed a lease and picked up the keys to my new apartment.

Big. Exciting. Scary. Awesome.

Stars, Smoke, and Signing

This post was written while at camp, on July 16th.

It doesn't matter if you're hearing or Deaf -- if you have jokes and stars, a night of camping never ends.

This blog post is brought to you by a hot fire and ASL.

(Addition, now that I'm home, with internet, and not writing this by the light of the campfire: the night this was written I was sleeping outside, with a sleeping bag and the stars. I had been put in change of the campfire and the camp out for all the kids ages 10-14. It was stressful, like everything that happened at camp, but sleeping outside was absolutely wonderful.

The staff members that were there stayed up half the night (three of the counselors actually stayed up all night) chatting and laughing, telling jokes and teasing each other. It was a lot of fun. It was also cool to be able to make as much as noise as we wanted without worrying about keeping anyone up -- all of our charges were Deaf and sound asleep. Overall, probably the best night of camp).

When was the last time you slept outside? Did you love it or hate it? Share in the comments!

What Do Kids Really Need to Learn?

This post was written while at camp, on July 15th.

I've been thinking today about what kids really "need" to learn. Some people say algebra. Some say reading. John Holt has a great quote (that I can't find, because I have no internet) about how the only two things you need to learn is how to say I'm sorry and I love you. [EDIT: I finally managed to locate the quote, thanks to my mom randomly stumbling upon a note card that had it written on it. "Once when John Holy was speaking to a school audience, describing his views on their structured curriculum, a student asked him, 'But surely there must be something important enough that everyone should learn it?' He thought for a moment and replied, 'To learn to say I'm sorry, I don't know, and I was wrong.'" --Jan Hunt (Natural Child Project)]


I think that's a pretty good rule of thumb. But I do have a couple other things I will try to help my one day children learn:

1. To ask for help.
2. To admit to not knowing something. [EDIT: Apparently John's already got that one covered.]
3. To smile in the face of stress and anger.
4. To be able to look around and assess what needs doing -- and then do it.
5. To count to ten and breathe when stressed instead of blowing up.

Now, I am by no means an expert at any of these. I have bad moments, bad days -- bad weeks. But I try and do all of those things as much as possible, and it certainly has helped me through some stressful situations (such as the one I'm in right now).

Which reminds me:
6. To realize that all things, good and bad, will pass.

What do you think all kids should know? Comment below!

New Scary Experiences

This post was written while at camp, on July 14th.

Today I did something new and scary. As I stated in my last post, I'm working at the sports and rec director at a camp for Deaf children this week. I was hired last minute (I had planned on volunteering). Today I had to get up in front of 112 Deaf kids (and two hearing ones) plus all their counselors,  most of whom are Deaf, and give the instructions to our game for the evening (that I had to pick out and plan myself).

I think it went well, overall. Unfortunately, my watch is broken, so I had to bug everyone else for timing. But the kids were laughing and smiling, which is a good sign (no pun intended).

My signing skills, both expressive and receptive, are already improving. My self confidence is going up too -- a  lot of people asking me if I'm Deaf or being surprised I've only been signing for four years has helped lessen the nerves (though not completely).

Tomorrow I'm helping with swim tests, which ALSO makes me nervous. Here's to hoping all the kids pass.

Now if I could just get used to the loudness of the lower bunk, I would be all set.

Have you done anything scary in the last few weeks? Share in the comments!

Lions Wilderness Camp for Deaf Children

This post was written while at camp, on July 13th.

I'm writing this post long hand. I'm currently in a (stifling hot) cabin with five or six other staff members at a camp for Dead kids. I applied to be a volunteer here a few months ago, but last week I got hired as the sports director.

I will admit, I was nervous. I'm still nervous. I didn't even want to come the last few days, due to my nervousness. But overall, I'm sure I'll be happy I came. I'm sure it will end up being a good experience.

And if not, at least I'll learn something. And isn't that really the point of life?

Have any great camp experiences? Got any awful ones? Share them in the comments!

Camp

Tomorrow (well, in about five hours, actually) I head off to a week long camp. It's a camp for Deaf, Hard-of-Hearing kids, and CODAs, and I've been hired as the sports director. I'm anxious (I didn't apply for the job and got it thrown on me at the last minute) but excited too. It should be a great experience, and the benefit of all the extra stress and responsibility of the job I got is that instead of just volunteering, I now get paid as well.

I'll be missing out on some stuff here -- a few demo performances, including one at the fair which is always fun. I'm a little bummed to be missing out on the fun. Plus, this is the last week before three of the students at my studio test for their black belts, which means I won't get to help out in the last few days before they test.

This is a month full of trade offs. I didn't bother to get Comic-Con, and as it turns out that's a very good thing, because I'll be at this camp. I have to skip a DZ thing while I'm gone this weekend as well, and on the 27th I'm missing both a DZ workshop and the studio beach party -- I had to give those up in order to run a 5k in the morning (the second in a series that I'm doing) and attend a friend's wedding in the afternoon. Good trade offs, and I'm happy with my choices, but it's frustrating to think that the next day I'll have literally nothing at all to do.

Should be heading off to bed, but I'm watching Doctor Who and eating chips instead. But hey, I can sleep in the car, right?

All the Items in My Purse

My goal for this month is to write every day, either a blog post or fifteen minutes of fiction. I opened up my blog today and didn't have any bright ideas, so I did what I always do when I'm stuck and googled the answer to my problem.

I found lots of blog post ideas, and I'm going with this one for today: a list of all the items in my purse.

At the moment, I'm carrying around a large zippered Delta Zeta tote bag. It's rather large, for a purse, so a lot of stuff fits inside of it. Bear with me.

1. Two Burt's Bees chapsticks (both almost gone, need to get a new one). The pomegranate kind.
2. One of my sets of CSUN Be Greek red and black plastic sunglasses.
3. My planner, which has a pencil attached, plus a piece of paper tucked into it on which I am keeping track of my knitting. Speaking of knitting...
4. My neverending Tom Baker Doctor Who scarf (which is attached to a green ball of yarn).
5. Three mores balls of yarn (purple, yellow, and blue).
6. My wallet (which itself is stuffed to the brim with various items).
7. Two packages of tissues.
8. A small plastic hairbrush.
9. A ten dollar bill, which is now getting put into my wallet.
10. Earbuds.
11. My iPod touch.
12. Feminine hygiene products.
13.  My house and studio keys.
14. My Delta Zeta badge.
15. Another pencil.
16. A schedule of classes/list of prices from my martial arts studio.
17. A CHN Expo schedule.

Plus, the items that have been in my purse within the last 12 hours, but got taken out for bed last night:
1. My glasses and case.
2. My phone.
3. One of the books I'm rereading at the moment (Cold Fire, by Tamora Pierce).

So there you have it. Possibly the most boring blog post of all time. I hope you enjoyed this glimpse into my life -- and I also hope you aren't judging me too hard for the amount of stuff I keep shoved into my purse.

Online History Class

Just started my online history class for the summer. Realized that I needed a new planner. It became a lot of effort to get one, because as it turns out, they don't sell regular yearly planners midway through the year, and the academic calenders all start in July and end in June, which doesn't work for me, cause my class goes from June to July. But I found one. On sale, which was nice.

Filling it out right now. This class is going to be a lot more work than I want it to be, BUT having it done will feel really good, and I should learn some good stuff, and filling out my new planner has been really fun.

House sitting for a few weeks starting Thursday. I don't like the idea of sleeping in a house alone...maybe I'll drag Roxana down there with me. But the dog (who I'll be sitting for as well as the house) is cute, so taking care of her is fun.

1. What curse word do you use the most?
I don't know, probably damn or shit.

2. Do you own an iPod?
Yep. Classic 60 gig and an old school shuffle.

3. What person on your flist do you talk to the most?
Roxana.

5. Do you still remember the first person you kissed?
Yep.

6. Do you remember where you were on 9/11/01?
At home, having a sleepover with Tessa.

7. Would you rather take the picture or be in the picture?
Be in it -- I loooove having pictures taken of me.

8. What was the last movie you watched?
Gorsh, no idea. I haven't watched a movie in ages. Maybe Up.

11. Do you ever take medication to help you fall asleep?
Only when I'm sick -- then I take it to clear me up and it makes me drowsy as a bonus.

14. Has anyone told you a secret this week?
Nope.

15. When was the last time you had Starbucks?
Er...last weekend?

16. Can you whistle?
Yep.

17. What is the first thing you notice about the opposite sex?
Height, hair.

18. What are you looking forward to?
Spring effing break.

19. Did you watch cartoons as a child?
Yeah.

20. Do you own any band t-shirts?
Several Beatles shirts, one Pink Floyd sweatshirt.

22. Is anyone in love with you?
Yes.

24. When was the last time you cried?
Dunno.

25. Are you on a desktop computer or a laptop?
Laptop. My desktop is turned off at the moment.

26. Are you currently wanting any piercings or tattoos?
Nope.

28. Would you ever date a girl/guy covered in tattoos?
Probably not.

30. When is the last time you slept on the floor?
Uuh, my birthday? Probably since then, I crash a lot.

31. How many hours of sleep do you need to function?
I can go on none. Though I'm less than awesome.

34. What did you do last night?
Kung-fu.

35. Do you use sarcasm?
Never.

37. Are you picky about spelling and grammar?
Ehh, sort of when I feel like it.

38. Have you ever been to six flags?
Couple of times.

39. Do you get along better with the same sex or the opposite sex?
Opposite.

40. Do you like mustard?
Only yellow, and yes, more than almost anything.

41. Do you sleep on your side?
Sometimes. Mostly it's on my stomach with my torso twisted to the side. And I end up on my back.

42. Do you watch the news?
Only the Daily Show and the Colbert Report.

43. How did you get one of your scars?
I have some little ones on my fingers from slicing avocados...
I don't have real scars.

44. Who was the last person to make you mad?
Hmm, I'm not sure. I think Roxana.

45. Do you like anybody?
I like tons of people, and I love a few of them too.

46. What is the last thing you purchased?
Tank tops.

47. What side of the heart do you draw first?
Right.

49. What colour is your razor?
Pink.

50. What is your blood-type?
No idea.

51. Who would you want to be tied to for 24 hours?
Roxana or Daniel.

52. What is a rumour someone has spread about you?
None that I know of.........

53. How do you feel about carrots?
Good? Hungry? In love? I don't know.

58. What would you do if you were stuck in an elevator?
Want to die.

59. What’s your favourite kind of gum?
Trident, the orange one.

64. Do you know which US states don’t use Daylight Savings Time?
Arizona and Hawaii. Live next to AZ, so it makes it easier for me to remember.

66. Do you want a bright yellow ‘06 mustang?
Uh, sure? You offering?

67. What’s something you’ve always wanted?
To go to England to watch/meet Arsenal.

68. Do you have hairy LEGS?
Not right now.

69. Would you rather swim in the ocean or a lake?
Ocean.

70. Do you wear a lot of black?
Nope.

71. Describe your hair:
Brown, super straight and so long that everyone feels the need to comment, including the waitress this morning.

72. Do you have Entomophobia?
No, but I'm not a huge fan.

73. Are you an adult?
Uh, young adult.

74. Where is/are your best friend(s)?
Within CA. Except, maybe not, because one of them is on his way to WA, and I don't know where exactly, cause I can't remember when he left.

75. Do you have a tan?
I have a soccer tan.

76. Are you a television addict?
Yes. =)

77. Do you enjoy spending time with your mother?
Yeah.

79. Do you like orange juice?
Yes.

80. What sign are you?
Aquarius.

Boredom

When I say "I'm Bored" it can mean any number of different things. Sometimes it means whatever I was doing previously is not longer managing to hold my interest and I really do just want some suggestions of things to do now. Or maybe I finished a project and I'm looking for a new one to start. Sometimes it means I've been sitting too long and I need to move around - or it means I'm physically tired and looking for something calm and still to do.

For me it is very often one of these two things: either I'm lonely or I need to get out of the house. My loneliness can be for different people. Maybe I'm missing my mom and need her attention for a while. Maybe I'm missing my friends and need to make some plans to see them. Or I could need to get up, get dressed and get out of the house, even for just a trip to the store. Sometime even the simple act of getting out of my PJs and brushing my teeth will be enough for me, and then I can happily go back to whatever I was doing before.

Your job is to find out what "I'm bored" means to you, your children, and your family.

A blog of things to blog about

The Story of My Most Serious Injury
The Person I Admire Most
This Will Be My Epitaph
Why I Love My Hometown
Why I Hate My Hometown
Why I Was a Childhood Bully
How I Shop
How I Choose to Spend My Money
I Wish I Spent Less Money on This
Why I’m in My Current Job
My Ideal Job
My High School Clique
My Worst Subject in School
If I Had a Super Power
Here’s Where My Opinion Differs From the Majority
Why I Voted the Way I Did in the Last Election
Why I Don’t Vote
The Cause I Really Believe In
Why I Came To Religion
Why I Don’t Believe Anymore
Where I Find Spirituality
My First Kiss
My Worst Kiss
The First Time I Had My Heart Broken
Why I Travel
Why I Don’t Travel
My Philosophy on Raising Children
Why I Chose My University Degree
My Favourite Place on the Planet
My Greatest Sin Against the Environment
Why I Married My Spouse
My Most Hated Movie
The Book That Changed My Life
My Unexpected Mentor
I Couldn’t Live Without This Song
If I Hear This Song Again, Radio Personalities Will Suffer
I Have the Craziest Uncle Ever
Why I Believe in Luck
Why I Don’t Believe in Luck
How I Earned My Worst Karma
Where I Volunteer
Why I Don’t Volunteer
My Favourite Item of Clothing Growing Up
If This Celebrity Knocked On My Door, I’d Run Away With Them
Why I Care About Celebrities
Why I Love This Sport
Why I Hate Sports
When I’m at My Most Self-Indulgent
How To Be Selfless
My Childhood Dreams, and How I’ve Fulfilled Them
How I Learned Patience
How My Hard Work Paid Off
I’ve Never Been More Surprised in My Life
What Scares the Shit Out of Me
The Only Thing I Can Teach You

A quote that I especially liked

May your coming year be filled with magic and dreams and good madness. I hope you read some fine books and kiss someone who thinks you’re wonderful, and don’t forget to make some art — write or draw or build or sing or live as only you can. And I hope, somewhere in the next year, you surprise yourself. -- Neil Gaiman

My notes about a stupid parenting book

Well, right off the bat this book makes a terrible impression. The title is "Get out of my life but first could you take me and Cheryl to the mall?" And of course, the proper grammar would be, "Get out of my life but first could you take Cheryl and me to the mall?" Now, I'm not saying I always use perfect grammar, but I'm not writing a real, published book, a book people are going to pick up off the shelves in a real bookstore. Doesn't this author have an editor?

It only gets worse from there. One of their examples of a teenager talking back:

"Cynthia, would you please take out the litter box?"
"Why are you always picking on me?"

The author translates the imaginary Cynthia's words into, "No, I'd raher not take out the litter box. I would rather get in a fight with you."

I don't believe, as a teenager, that that's really what Cynthia is saying. I think she's just saying that she's busy, and doesn't feel like dropping it to take out the litter box.

Another quote: "The first step is to accept a child's right to say what he or she has to say, no matter how stupid or unreasonable. You don't have to listen to all of it, you can leave whenever you want, but you respect their right to say it."

My first problem with this is the assumption that whatever the teenager has to say is going to be stupid or unreasonable, when I know for a fact that teenagers can have intelligent, reasonable things to say and usually do. Sometimes they can be unreasonable - just like adults.

My second problem is that thought that the parent can just walk away in the middle of their child speaking. While of course, this is true, it's certainly not going to endear yourself to your child and make your relationship any better. It's saying that you don't care about them enough, or value their thoughts and opinions enough to even bother listening to them. Also, if you walk away, it gives them the right to walk away when they feel like it. Why should they have to listen to you when you're being stupid and unreasonable?

Just for the record, I'm about four pages in and I could have complained about WAAAAAY way more than just these couple of things. But I'm choosing to leave it at that for the moment, so I can get back to reading it.

I think you have a problem with your brain being missing

Well, actually, the fair went really really poorly. But I don't really want to talk about that right now. I would rather talk about the fact that I cleaned my room yesterday. Top to bottom (well, mostly). All the clutter got taken care of, I moved the big orange chair into the backyard, moved my TV so I don't have to kill myself to watch it, washed my window sills, changed my sheets, made my bed, moved a couple of my chests around, put away all my shoes and bags and hung up all my clean clothing. And vacuumed. The plans looks beautiful. I still haven't put the doors on my closet, but soon, soon I will. And once I do that the room will look even better.

Plus I've been watching Firefly. Good times are had.

The Two Ends of the Spectrum

Davin's been bugging me for a while about watching Dexter - the serial killer who works for the cops show. I haven't bothered, mostly because I'm lazy, partly because it sounds kind of gross. Finally though, just a few days ago, I caved in and watched the first episode.

Within two nights I'd watched four. It's so good. Yes, a little gross, but it's stylized enough that I can watch it without making me feel too squeamish. And I love Micheal C. Hall. A lot. He plays the gay brother in Six Feet Under (bizarrely the two shows he's famous for are both about dead people. Type cast?)

Now I haven't watched it for a few days and I'm itching to start watching it again.

And Roxana has been harassing me to watch Arrested Development ever since she was in Paris and watched all of season three. Matthew and Jocelyn have told me several times that I would really like it and I should watch it, but I haven't because the little bits and pieces I've watched I haven't really liked that much. They were amusing but made me uncomfortable in a bad way.

But finally I started watching it, a couple of nights ago. And yes indeed, it is really amusing. Jason Bateman has the best expressions and Michael Cera is so adorably awkward and sort of sad. I'm enjoying it, I must admit.

My dad is finally, finally, FINALLY reading the 7th Harry Potter book. Our TV has been broken for a while so instead of watching soccer at night (thankfully the TV held out until after the European Championship and English Premier League finished) my father has been reading the Harry Potter books. So he's finally caught up and managed to make it to the seventh book. He's just got past the wedding I think.

I'm off to the Orange County Fair. Hope it goes well!

Rosie